pouty face.

Yesterday at work I had to sign my 6 week evaluation. My shift (when on day shift) started at 7am and my manager asked if before I went down to the OR, if I could swing by her office to sign it. She had been on vacation so all of our evaluations got pushed back a little as a result. In any case... 99% of the evaluation was really good, but when I scanned down the page I saw that for "speed" a (2) was circled which indicates "needs improvement." uggggggh. It's all I could think about all day long. Day shift has been a long experience for me because regardless of how much sleep I get, I am just not as functional in the morning as I am in the evening/night. I have been anxiously waiting for my transition to nights and evenings. I'm doing nights first and I really hope that I like it because it's what I'm considering as my permanent shift.

I know that we all deal with stresses related to our jobs but it hit me so hard first thing in the morning yesterday and I feel like I got in this rut thinking "I can't do this.... what am I thinking!?" Thankfully, I have an amazing husband that doesn't hesitate to quickly combat all of my negativity with positivity. I'm feeling better about it all now but it certainly got me down (way down) yesterday.

When I think about it, there have been so many days I've left work feeling like I did such an awesome job, yet a few days where I would think to myself about things I could have done differently to make processes run smoother and quicker. That's part of the learning process though and I think it's all too easy to be hard on myself. It's definitely something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember.

Ed.

So... I have thoroughly enjoyed being off work since Friday and have mixed feelings about returning tomorrow. On the plus side, I get to see a total hip replacement and a total knee replacement tomorrow instead of being on the floor. I have loved my surgical experiences in the past and they have definitely made me aware of the fact that I was not meant to be a surgical nurse. This week I switch to night shift as well and I'm anxious to see how I feel on a shift other than days. I am not fully functional in the morning. It doesn't matter how much sleep I get, what kind of breakfast I have... I am a night owl!

In other news... Ed proposed to Jillian and she said "yes!"

Oh, come on... it's the only reality show I watch! Give me a break! ; )

Niagara Falls.

I've spent a large portion of today trying to look into activities for our (anniversary) trip. M and I are so excited to see Niagara Falls and take in all of the natural beauty. It seems surreal that our anniversary is so close. It's hard to believe that a year (almost) has passed since our wedding day. We plan to enjoy the Niagara Falls Park, take a boat tour, do wine tastings and one of the local wineries and try out the local restaurants. M has never been to New York at all, and I've never been to Buffalo but we are both ecstatic to have the opportunity to celebrate in such an amazing way. We are truly blessed and beyond appreciative.

Beginning.

I'm going to try to make time to start blogging again. I love the idea of recording thoughts/feelings/experiences and being able to share them with friends and family.

I plan to keep up with this as often as possible so we'll see how it all works out :)