Yesterday at work I had to sign my 6 week evaluation. My shift (when on day shift) started at 7am and my manager asked if before I went down to the OR, if I could swing by her office to sign it. She had been on vacation so all of our evaluations got pushed back a little as a result. In any case... 99% of the evaluation was really good, but when I scanned down the page I saw that for "speed" a (2) was circled which indicates "needs improvement." uggggggh. It's all I could think about all day long. Day shift has been a long experience for me because regardless of how much sleep I get, I am just not as functional in the morning as I am in the evening/night. I have been anxiously waiting for my transition to nights and evenings. I'm doing nights first and I really hope that I like it because it's what I'm considering as my permanent shift.
I know that we all deal with stresses related to our jobs but it hit me so hard first thing in the morning yesterday and I feel like I got in this rut thinking "I can't do this.... what am I thinking!?" Thankfully, I have an amazing husband that doesn't hesitate to quickly combat all of my negativity with positivity. I'm feeling better about it all now but it certainly got me down (way down) yesterday.
When I think about it, there have been so many days I've left work feeling like I did such an awesome job, yet a few days where I would think to myself about things I could have done differently to make processes run smoother and quicker. That's part of the learning process though and I think it's all too easy to be hard on myself. It's definitely something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember.
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